so, i went home to visit. it was supposed to be mostly a visiting trip, but the visiting part ended up getting pretty much fcuked. the original intention was to see my family for easter. my dad called three weeks ago, asking if i wanted to come home for easter. i said sure, if he paid for it. so he deposited money in my account, and i ordered tickets.

the next day, i called him back to tell him that i had gotten the tickets. he then proceeded to tell me that he was planning on cancelling their trip to europe, but i would have cost them too much to cancel the trip, so they were still going. so, i got home wednesday night, and they left thursday afternoon. i got to visit with them for all of three hours while they packed.

so i got to see most of my friends from back home. i went to a food-court place with christian the first night, which was uber cool. went to "betty's wok and noodle diner" with jacki, louis, and cindy. that was cool too. i worked. spent a bunch of time with jackie when she wasn't working.

spending time with jackie was wierd at first. when i first got there, she seemed different. she didn't look the same. i hadn't seen her in almost a month, and at first, she just looked... different. the next day it was better. we spent some more time together, and it was like i had never left. we talked alot about what to do. what our relationship should be after i left. decisions were made. not excatly what i/we wanted, but logically, the better decision for both of us.

the hardest part of the trip was the last day. i had to go to work, for a meeting that just got blown off. time i could have spent with jackie. we met for lunch and she took me to the airport. i didn't want to leave. i didn't want to let her go. i didn't want to let go of her. we must have been standing there at the gate for at least five minutes holding each other.

so, now i'm on the plane. going back to cali. back to the apartment. alone.

i'm not looking forward to getting there.