i've been missing alot lately. people ask me every few days why i don't update this site, or add new fotos to fotojournal.org. truth of the matter is that i don't feel compelled to.

a few years ago, i got heavily into websites, design, and making things. i bought domains like they were going out of style. i moved from server to server, building, customizing, hosting. i hosted websites for almost anyone who asked, and i footed the bill. when i got tired of footing the bill, i decided to make a hosting business out of it, and hopefully have the business pay for my personal sites.

but it didn't work out. i got the thing mostly started, and never finished. the scripts to add new customers exist, and have been tested, but were never made live. the server has been up and running, taking up twenty ips, but no bandwidth. half of the sites that i originally offered to host for free either expired, or the people making them fell into the same rut that i fell into.

the internet gave way to ideas, hope, dreams. the stocks reflected that. then, because everyone looked at the stocks, and put their trust in them, they fell. internet stocks hit bottom. the desire to get yourself heard on the internet faded away. my desire to add a little something to the internet faded.

so, now i'm stuck pondering a decision. i'm stuck with a company that's mostly setup to host people, and a bill for that server every month. but i'm not sure if i should really put the effort into making the buisness run, or attemt to run in this fubar market.

add to that, i've got this site, and almost a dozen others that are *mostly* finished, but i do i really feel like putting in the time to finish them, when nobody but me really cares? my desire to share a part of my life online has dwindled, but some would argue that even this update proves that statement a falsehood.

being online, and having my websites was a huge part of my life at one time. i'd spend hours making scripts, databases, new designs. i used to redesign my website once a month. being online was a large part of my personality. me time. but lately, with work and whatnot, i've been sortof ignoring me time, and pretty much not thinking about it.

then, today, it hit me. i haven't updated my website. i haven't ever ordered buisness cards for my hosting company. i haven't read any of the personal sites that i used to read on a daily basis in forever. i haven't given two shits about anything online.

do i throw in the towel, or make one last effort?