there's something about the way ara writes, the way he seamlessly weaves his photography into his stories, into his life makes me... jealous, i guess. he has two of the things that, lately, i don't have. time, and freedom. time to take the beautiful pictures, and weave the narrative, and the freedom from the normal confines (read: work) that allow him to experience... just to experience.
in some ways, i not only love to dream... but i hate it. i spend a large portion of my time online reading, looking, watching others have their adventures, and dream of my own. i dream of something i can't have, of something that i sometimes feel is beyond my grasp, something unobtainable.
i get saddened by those days, when the "unobtainable" outweighs the "obtainable".
the worst part for me is that it's all about material possessions, which i hate. i hate being controlled by them, having the insatiable desire for something that i want, i hope will change my life in a way that i think i need... but not being able to have it, forcing myself to put it out of my mind. instead i force myself to focus on the things in life that are tangible, that are for the future, which, in it's own way is just another set of material possessions that have the only difference being that they're required, depending on how you look at it.
when i get on the track of material possessions, i take the time to remember that i already have much more than others in my same position. i attempt to take pride, solitude, ... what's the word i'm looking for... i feel gratitude for the things i have, the places i've seen, the people i've met along the way. those things fill my soul with a strength that is immeasurable, yet easy to forget.
the past two weekends, i've been riding just to ride. i don't take many photos, even though the camera is right there at my hand. when i do, the photos feel like copies of the same photos i've taken over and over in the past months. nothing seems new, except the new tires on the bike. i'll ride the same roads, hoping to see something new, but it doesn't happen. photos like the one above, where i see the shot before i stop to take it are few and far between. i don't know if it's me, or the surroundings... but i'm not "stopping to smell the roses" so to say, not taking the time to experience things the way people like ara do.
it's probably the time pressure that i feel is constantly hovering over me. when i do get the "time" to get out to ride, it's usually between other things, and i end up trying to do too much in a short amount of time... causing me to be constantly rushing. maybe someday i'll put / get myself into the mindset of the traveler, and experience more than i do now. see something new, go somewhere that's not in my safety zone. when i do, i'll have to make sure i take the time to stop, and see what i'm not seeing.
thanks for the words & photos, ara... helping me, and ( hopefully someday ) the world understand that it's beneficial to your soul to stop and smell the roses... or at least take a few pictures of them.
on a different note, i hit 30k on the bike today, 8k+ of them mine. my first big milestone on a bike. of course, it happened while commuting home from work, on a exit ramp no less... but i pulled over anyways, and snapped the required photo. yay for me, or something.
3 Comments:
nice
Double Nicee
That was... refreshing.